That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
whose parrot is this?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize