never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
