her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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