Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize