so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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