if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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