he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
