It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
