how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
