so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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