He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
And then the night went full on bisexual.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
