walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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