Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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