I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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