I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
