Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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