it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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