i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
