i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
