in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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