After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
