My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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