is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
did i just pee glitter
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
