I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize