I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
