i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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