i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
