he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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