I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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