This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i think my cat just said my name.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
