Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
