Porn is love you can see.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
