I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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