ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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