he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
