I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
