I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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