i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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