I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
