you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize