Can Purell be used as lube?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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