I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
