Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
