She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
