You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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