why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
