I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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