..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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