apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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