I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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