I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
