he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
