at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
