I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize