I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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