Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
As shirtless as possible
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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