come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I love you. Go after that dick
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
