ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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