honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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