in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
