I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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