I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
