I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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