come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Can I color on your dick again?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
